{"id":66,"date":"2016-01-15T05:10:47","date_gmt":"2016-01-15T05:10:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/?p=66"},"modified":"2016-05-17T07:16:01","modified_gmt":"2016-05-17T07:16:01","slug":"day-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/day-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 3"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>I&#8217;d been feeling very weak, flu like almost. \u00a0Hungry, but\u00a0nauseas\u00a0at the thought of food, so I went to the doctor. \u00a0Of course, I don&#8217;t have insurance at the moment, so I had to go to a free clinic. \u00a0I should have known something was up or wrong with this place because they advertised on tv like some bad lawyer. \u00a0They described my symptoms exactly and said I could qualify for government assistance because of flouride in the water or some lame shit like that.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>So I go and they take some blood and the ordinary vitals and after waiting for a couple of hours I&#8217;m shown into this back room to the doctors office. \u00a0I walk in and I shit you not, the old white haired motherfucker is smoking a cigarette. \u00a0Not an e cig, but a goddammed camel unfiltered. \u00a0He&#8217;s got a pile of them in an ashtray that should have been emptied during the vietnam era. \u00a0When I walk in, he looks a little too excited to see me and puts out his cigarette, waving the smoke away.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Sit, Sit he says a nurse guides me to an old pleather chair.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>He picks up a folder, opens it and reads something that must have been pretty interesting.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Yes, Yes, he says to himself.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>SO, he says to me. \u00a0You were bitten by a Tod or a Vixen?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Well, it was a Vixen? I said, but I wasn&#8217;t truly bit. \u00a0\u00a0I had a condom on.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Of course, he said. But the test results, they don&#8217;t lie. \u00a0You&#8217;ve got the deadabetes.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>He then slaps himself and laughs as if he just made up this joke. \u00a0Has anyone, ever, in the history of doctor patient relations, ever thought it was funny when a medical professional made a joke about your terminal illness?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Fuck no.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>That&#8217;s why I said, I should have known something. \u00a0But I felt like shit, so I stayed. \u00a0And I listened. \u00a0And I took the phone number he gave me. \u00a0Said, I could get some special, experimental medicine and they would actually pay me to take it. \u00a0I should have known, I should have had a little more what do they call it &#8220;french word for foresight&#8221; that you never get a fee lunch. \u00a0Escpecially when the most important question to him wasn&#8217;t my sypmtoms, but the fact I had very little family alive. \u00a0My mom was alive, but she was looney, so that seemed to make it all the better.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I took the prescription and left. \u00a0As I was leaving, some other sucker, looking far worse than I did bumped into me on his way in. \u00a0He asked me if this was the place from the commercials? \u00a0It still haunts me that I didn&#8217;t lie and tell him the place was closed down.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;d been feeling very weak, flu like almost. \u00a0Hungry, but\u00a0nauseas\u00a0at the thought of food, so I went to the doctor. \u00a0Of course, I don&#8217;t have insurance at the moment, so I had to go to a free clinic. \u00a0I should have known something was up or wrong with this place because they advertised on tv &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/day-3\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Day 3<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-66","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p77Qd5-14","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=66"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":159,"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66\/revisions\/159"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=66"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=66"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanwells.com\/zombieman\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=66"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}